Lessons for my children

• You can do hard things. 

• Some mistakes cannot be fixed, learn from them and move on. If you regret the mistake, then you don’t appreciate the lesson. 

• Saying you're sorry matters, but only if you mean it. 

• Nobody “fits in” until they own their own space. 

• There will be people who don’t like you. It’s ok, as long as you like you. 

• I am not perfect, and I know I didn’t parent perfectly, nobody does. 

• High School is only the best time of your life if you never do anything after it, otherwise it is just a blink of the eye. 

• You are responsible for the course of your life and the choices you make.  Yes, this is a lot of responsibility, but it also means that you earn and deserve everything you get, be proud. 

• My job when you were small was to make you think I knew everything so you felt safe, but I don’t.  Now I want you to know that everyone gets to adulthood and then flies by the seat of their pants; see lesson number one; you can do hard things. 

• Now that you are an adult, the decisions are yours to make; but, if I say “Have you thought of….” It’s because I think you haven’t.  If you want more information than that you have to ask. 

• I tell funny stories from your childhood because they remind me of how much fun it was to be your mom, and how all the struggles, late nights, hospital visits, etc. were worth it, not to embarrass you…. 

• Sass, sarcasm and humour make life interesting and bearable. Remember that when (if) you ever have teenagers. 

• I was only partially kidding when I said I’d be a millionaire if it wasn’t for you, but you were worth it. 

• If everyone you met today was an idiot the problem is probably you, eat something, have a nap and then do something you enjoy.  

• “Tired and Cranky” is a saying for a reason, you'll rarely find one without the other. Take a break. 

• Don’t waste time trying to educate someone who isn’t interested, but take the time to help anyone who is. 

• When you are moving up the ladder, take the time to turn around and help the people behind you who deserve it.  Contrary to popular opinion, those people are not the ones who will “take your job” they are the team that will help build the ladder as high as you want to go; and share your success, you didn’t get there alone. 

• Your heart will get broken; when it does, be sad. Feel and experience the sadness, don’t ignore it, pretend it isn’t there or hide behind anger. Acknowledge your contribution to the heartbreak and allow yourself to process the sadness. Every day you will wake up a little less sad than the day before, and one day you will realize your heart is whole again and you are ready for a new relationship. 

• Anger is often our first response, but it is usually hiding another emotion.  Try to access the hidden emotion and figure out how to deal with it.  It’s a lot more productive than raging at the world. 

• There are as many paths to your goal as there are rivers on the planet.  Don’t get discouraged if one of the paths gets closed off to you.  Dust yourself off, look at the options available and choose a different path.  If you don’t quit, you will get there eventually. 

• If you decide to have children, know that it will be the hardest thing you ever do, but it will also be the most rewarding.  See lesson one, you can do hard things. 

• Remember when you choose a partner, that they will not be perfect, but neither will you.  Acknowledge that you have come from different backgrounds and will have different ways of doing things, but put in the hard work to develop your way of doing things together.   

• Confront your problems, have the hard conversations, do the work, then, if there isn’t a viable solution walk away comfortable in the knowledge that you did everything you could to make it work; then don’t look back.  

• You cannot solve a problem if only one person is trying, know this and evaluate every situation in terms of it.